A friend of mine is off again with her on-again, off-again boyfriend. This time she seems serious about the off being permanent. But she’s struggling with the best way to break it off.
The cleanest break up I ever had was with a foreign boyfriend. I broke up on one of my visits to his country, flew home the next day and moved to a new city a few weeks later. There were only one or two uncomfortable phone calls (after all, it’s really hard to drunk dial someone in a foreign country when you’re on a budget). And that was it. I started my new life and he got on with his.
Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn had to share a home after breaking up in 'The Break-Up.'
Distance, a huge obstacle for our relationship, was the best possible thing for our break up.
My friend doesn’t have the luxury of making her ex disappear nor does she want to. Their lives are intertwined. She’s friends with his family. They run with the same group of people. And, perhaps worst of all, they work together.
Clearly cutting him out is not an option.
But keeping him around has consequences too. There’s the risk that she’ll stay in love with him and suffer when she learns he’s with someone new. And what happens if she tries to be friends with him and jealousy pops up? Or, worst of all, what happens if you end up in the dreaded friends-with-benefits zone? That usually means that one person is imagining the two of you getting together again while the other is hanging around until something better comes along.
The potential for heartbreak makes my heart, well, ache. For both of them.
So, can you offer my friend some helpful advice? How do you effectively break up with someone when they’re still part of your life?
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